I wanted to try and not talk about something but it’s a very important part of my story. It’s only fair that I explain how everything is connected.
My mother has major depression so when she got pregnant with me at the time (and she has told me) that there were negative people around her she let the things they said get to her and she was very depressed while pregnant with me.
Also my father would not admit that he has depression as well but he sure is depressed. (He drinks alcohol to cope) So with all the characteristics of my mom and dad mixed together, created the person writing this blog.
Anyways among other things that happened in my life. Anxiety issues was always present. Of course I didn’t know something was wrong with me, always thought I was different. Thinking back, I don’t remember all my childhood moments but I remember having my first panic attack at least the only one I knew about at the time. Well maybe it was also panic when I was dropped off at my grandmas and if my mom didn’t pick me up when she said she would, I was not happy. I would call her like crazy until she came to get me. (Separation anxiety maybe?)
Ok back to the other story: I went to a sleep over. It was a girl from school, it was her birthday and I was happy I got invited, felt like I had friends until we laid down to sleep. I don’t remember what I was thinking but I began to cry uncontrollably. The other girls were scared not knowing what to do. They all take me to the girls mother and she calls my mom to come get me. I was so embarrassed. I had no idea why I freaked out. I never gave that moment much thought until I was an adult.
Like I said apparently I was birthed into this world carrying depression and anxiety.
Saw my mother go through a lot of difficult times and I never was going to claim I had depression. I told myself a lot of excuses to why I felt the way I did. It wasn’t until I was 17 years old and I finally got my first job. Note I did not want but I had graduated early from high school, I was just waiting around for my graduation time. Anyways I worked my butt off. The one or two days off, which I felt I wasn’t getting, was not enough. I was exhausted and one day I couldn’t get out of bed. In my pitch-dark bedroom I laid there like I can’t even do life today. I didn’t want to call my job because I knew I would still have to go in and I needed rest, so much rest.
The older I got, the harder it became to hide my feelings, hide that I wasn’t quite like everyone else. It’s too emotional for me to take you back down the path I came from but believe me, it’s a miracle I’m still here.
▪️Pregnancy in women is a common source of depression, due in large part to vast hormonal fluctuations. Doctors believe that it is possible a fetus may inherit depression from a depressed mother. That is not to say the baby is born with depression as a result; this is not akin to something like fetal alcohol syndrome. Still, there may be depressive hormones transferred.
▪️Our genetic code (DNA) predisposes us to certain diseases and there is no reason why depression may not be part of that.
▪️Clinical studies established to separate a specific gene that causes depression have proved inconclusive, but research continues.
Read more: http://depressiond.org/is-depression-hereditary/