Replace the Negative 


Staying positive is a very difficult thing to do when you have a dark cloud following you. You have negative people in your life feeding your already negative thoughts. Every moment you have that you are able to have a bit of happiness, that negative person(s) takes that moment away. 
I have never wanted anything more than to be happy. Truly happy every day all day. Have reasons or a reason to be happy. When I wake up and see I have another day, I want to be glad that I do. 
Living with anxiety and depression, when you wake up, being happy is the farthest thing from your mind. You are trying to get up enough strength to get out of bed and face the world that you feel is judging you, looking down on you, the world that you feel is going to kill you. At times you wish it would kill you so you won’t have to go through this hassle every single day. 
You have to learn to make your own happiness and know what things make you happy. The day I felt the feeling of peace, that day was amazing. Of course it happened when I was alone. I wanted to be able to keep that feeling but I didn’t know how. I never know when those days will happen but when they do I try to enjoy them to the fullest. It tough though when it seems everyone else is being down and moody. Seems like when I am happy no one else is. 
I am more happy with myself than being in a room full of people or being with one person. I never thought I would feel that way. Ok maybe not happy but I am content with myself. I am not true if I can truly be happy. I have happy moments and I know I don’t live with happiness in my heart. 
I know the good person I am and what makes me me. When I think of those things about myself, that is what I use 

To motivate myself, it’s not easy though. The negative thoughts are always there. 

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